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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of ALBUM 39 - Broken Machine Films presents... THE BLACK ALBUM, The Beyond Beyond. ...VaporLodge 6., Miami Neige, Vol 1, the devils' advocate [epilogue], 'TIME FOR THE SHOW' THE MOVIE -TIME FOR THE SOUNDTRACK-, EPOCH, tracing the wound, Copper, and 857 more.
1. |
Can't Shake This Feeling
04:32
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Can’t Shake This Feeling
I made you, wrought you from sand
I lay there beside you and
I nursed you from sickness to health
And now I can't really help
My anger, my forlorn wrath
Resides in cerebral paths
And I'm sorry, I bore you your life
I've wronged you to tell you that
I can't shake this feeling
The pictures I see in my mind
I tell you, I've yet to find
A solace, though with them I tell
From Metis, a child fell
Withhold me, cradle my hand
You told me the safest land
Is inside me, though I question now
How ravaged when I think how
I can't shake this feeling
My hand you grasp
I lay and gasp at
All the pain I caused you
And am causing you again
My thoughts you quell
My vision swells
Ain't it swell to be back at what cost though
Don't let go, God, please don't let go of me
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2. |
American Dreams
03:48
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American Dreams
I can only get so weak
The ringing in my ears has finally faded
Your tongue cuts through your cheek
My sense of self and worth, I feel invaded
All these little things
Can seem like mountains when you're this low
And all my broken seams
Are mended by the thoughts I see and borrow
I wish I could see through your cross eyes
And analyze
Why I can't be all that you need
I'm paralyzed
I know it's a lie
I'm sorry goodbye
I don't have the time
I won't let these American dreams
Fall at the seams tonight
The site of new frontiers
Sets me beside myself in sorrow
And all my reckless fears
Lead me to hide my pride and swallow
The touching of our hands
In silent winds I use to bury jitters
In swept, decaying sands
Still a light at night will blink and flitter
I wish I could see through your cross eyes
And analyze
Why I can't be all that you need
I'm paralyzed
I know it's a lie
I'm sorry goodbye
I don't have the time
I won't let these American dreams
Fall at the seams tonight
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3. |
I Need You
03:44
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I Need You
I look at my hands, then you spin me around
"Are you okay?"
I'm living in fairy tales
Where life stays the same
Memories of my life seem to spin through my head
Why's this not okay?
We're living the real life now
And things always change
The clouds bring no action, though faster still
I'm scared and I'm hiding
The laws of attraction; subtraction ex part
Still, in short, I need you
I look at my hands, then I fall to the ground
"Aren't you okay?"
I'm ringing in badder days
But it's all gone my way
Memories of my life seem to spin 'til I'm dead
Why not be okay?
We're bringing the good times
But I've got no say
The clouds bring no action, though faster still
I'm scared and I'm hiding
The laws of attraction; subtraction ex part
Still, in short, I need you
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4. |
Intralude
01:38
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5. |
Dear God, I Hate Myself
04:47
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Dear God, I Hate Myself
I'm just a punk boy
A punk who likes punk boys
Who feel the same that I do
(That is to say, my stance on punk boys - that stance being that they’re pretty cute)
When I was little
My mother told me that God was here, all around
Watching, observing,
But wouldn't make a sound
And I believed her, 'cause we were Christian
And I thought he's in us all
In me, in her, in them, and him
And you
And if God's in me,
Then maybe I am in God too
Just a thought
If so, then all the wicked men who
Fought and lied, instead used God to deny
My rights to hold and live a life
Were in there too
I wonder if God hates me like I do
I wonder if God was made up of us too
I wonder if God was with us all along
And maybe it's God who's writing and singing this song
Dear God, I hate myself
Today, I've gone away to lands
Where your foreign lambs won't stay
I know that life is sometimes hard
We're all just cards, unplayed, in your sadist games sometimes
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6. |
October
05:16
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October
Here I lie on the floor
I can’t think about this thing anymore
All my faults can’t default
On my faith, nor my mind, nor my soul - or what else?
Then all those little reasons start to cloud my head
And gently rain upon me
And as my thoughts beset me, pounding me away
Only you remain; I’m washed away
Who do you think you are?
You nobody superstar?
Oh how good it feels to be
With some body that I used to love
(Follow me into the night)
Follow me into the night you said
And never were seen again
Give me something to go; don’t tell me you’d never know
How much this would mean to me
An idea of you
Of someone I knew
It couldn’t be right
Or maybe it might? No…
The blood that you drew
Of feelings so true
Come to me post-fright
An October night
But you’re gone, I move on
And all the storms in my head fade away
Except you, you’re here too
And my obsessive-compulsions also stay
Oh
In the calm and still air
My idea of you lifts me back up slowly
I don’t think that I love you
But the idea of you helps me pull through, so that’s enough
Who do you think you are?
To say that I’ve gone too far?
When that morning comes, I’ll be
Out the door and I’ll be holding on
Under the blinking stars
Through the moonroof inside your car
It was only one night alone, I blinked and then you were gone
Don’t tell me it didn’t mean a thing
An idea of you
Of someone I knew
It couldn’t be right
Or maybe it might? No…
The blood that you drew
Of feelings so true
Come to me post-fright
An October night
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7. |
Komm, Süßer Tod
03:24
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Komm, Süßer Tod
Who cares what this song is about?
I just want to say words in a nice, timed melody
I spend time with you, but what good does it do
If I'm juiced on some non-prescription meds?
You sit and you type your sweet words
To my eyes and I start to reply, but I
Think it's too sad and sappy to send
So I backspace the whole thing away
I see a light in the distance
Behind me lay smoldering clouds
I used to feel something deep in my heart
But I'm getting over it now
In songs, I can change, rearrange, and make strange
All the things that I write; I wish I
Could do that in my real life I'm finding myself
Saying things again, and again - not again...
You make me feel so warm inside
I don't know how many times I need to say it
So I can make things feel right
I see a light in the distance
Behind me lay smoldering clouds
I used to feel something deep in my heart
But I'm getting over it now
"Komm, Süßer Tod" on your playlist
Party tunes drown out the rest
I can still feel my heart skip a beat when your
Leg barely touches mine
(I, I'm sorry that I keep writing songs about you and keep them so thinly veiled)
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8. |
Turn Around
03:53
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Turn Around
A manic-depressive episode
The corporate fires alight the ires of the soul
In my tender heart
Why can't you let me breathe?
All the flairs afloat in air burns my throat
Into my chest
Maybe I've seen you before
But I can't see you now
It's just not fair
Now is it done?
I've never felt this way in my life
It all just comes crashing down
And now they've flown me like a kite
It turns out I can't turn around
The milky sunlight flares
Through the nightgown-laden views to the world
I stare right on through
And though I've known you then
It takes a lot to see you fall to the bed
And take a straight path
Maybe I've seen you before
But I can't see you now
It's just not fair
Now is it done?
I've never felt this way in my life
It all just comes crashing down
And now they've flown me like a kite
It turns out I can't turn around
I can't go on like this
I've refused payment, kids
I don't want to live anymore
Living behind the lies
I can see through the highs
I don't want to miss anymore
I've never felt this way in my life
It all just comes crashing down
And now they've flown me like a kite
It turns out I can't turn around
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9. |
Bill Murray
06:15
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Bill Murray
Slipping through car doors into the cool void of night time
Slipping through fingers all the grains of sand I hold to represent my life and signs
Hollow and ringing ears are left alone in darkness
Hollow and singing tunes to drown out all the silence left when you fell asleep
I told you then
I'll say again
No problem, friend, I said
I'm not a man
And yet I am
You understand
You get me
(You do get me, right? Yeah, of course you do.)
All of the bands
You have on hand
And play in your van
They all have a song
You sing along
3 minutes long
Bill Murray, track 8
I hold my hands up and sing along
All the angled shadows hit me wrong
I move out; pump my head to the beat
You lie in your seat
Video tu non sic es non
Video tu nunc sed es non
Wishing for sleep to come to me and leave us silent
Wishing for peace to come and eat alive the wistful words of psalms
Time and time again, I leave the window closed to fell winds
Time and time again, I open all the doors and reach out towards the world and meet its hands
I told you then
I'll say again
No problem, friend, I said
I'm not a man
And yet I am
You understand
You get me
(You do get me, right? Yeah, of course you do.)
All of the bands
You have on hand
And play in your van
They all have a song
You sing along
3 minutes long
Bill Murray, track 8
I hold my hands up and sing along
All the angled shadows hit me wrong
I move out; pump my head to the beat
You lie in your seat
Video tu non sic es non
Video tu nunc sed es non
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10. |
I'm Sorry
05:07
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I’m Sorry
My hopes and dreams come undone; the night has won
All the time I spent alone, now no one knows
Where once a man, what dread commands instead now stands
Anxiety - and I'm the trees - like wind flows over me
Frozen hands in far off lands control our sands
So I'm dissolved, I flush away what still remains
Can someone else step up to speak? I'm just too weak
I'm bruised and cut, and out of luck; just take me home
What can I tell my family when I grow old?
Clouds came and covered up the sun? And I watched? Would it be that
I'm just one man, what could I've done? Understand
Maybe it's God who has all of us here and it's all just so queer how one hand brings that down
I'm sorry
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11. |
Adamantine
07:44
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Adamantine
Foreign sailors, their ship's path labyrinthine
An endless ocean is where we lay our scene
Starved and thirsty, they cackle and bemoan
Their stern, cross captain who stands alone and
Holds on to life
Oh, I'm alive
A ship inbound to port but dead at sea
A spectre, [as] large as mountains waits and sees
Twirling waters, the crew all falters down
A rising visage of a woman from the ground
She holds her hand out, and guides them all to land
Safely now the sailors kiss the sand
The bloodshed pools and dyes the sunset brown
Against the towers' rise from forth the ground
He turns the adamant around
An alien scene is all I see
In lands surrounded by the sea
He turns the adamant around
He turns the adamant around
And all my life is on display
I feel alive somewhat today
He turns the adamant around
He turns the adamant around
I burn, my hands move to cover my face
I sit and watch in all my disgrace
My life has led all to this
If this is me, then what have I missed?
So all the songs I hear in my mind
And all I've still yet to find
Are muted, blocked, and drowned out
Like me, I'm trapped under doubt
I can't see anymore
My eyes aren't in my head
And so I'm left instead
With all the
Thoughts that race in my mind
I've still yet to find
My drive so I can say
I'm alive
I can't hear anymore
My mind's not in my head
And so I leave instead
To all the
Plots that form in the world
My vision becomes swirled
And now I'm left for dead
Now I'm left for
Dead
What have I done?
I'm left for
Dead
What have I done?
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12. |
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